Thoughts On Dressing Up For Halloween

“Why worry about Halloween when there’s a new holiday to worry about?”
Jello Biafra, lead singer of the Dead Kennedys, Cabaret Metro, Chicago, Illinois October 31, 1984

Halloween is a fucked-up holiday. We dress up to get out of our realities for one stinking day and then jump back in the saddle, business as usual. That’s far more frightening than reality itself. It’s a far bigger business for adults than it is for children on some levels. Too many people cannot see into themselves far enough not to dress up as anything other than their own self.

I’ve always had mixed feelings about Halloween. Dressing up has been part of my life for the better half of my 20s, 30s and now into my 40s, both as an artist and sadly, as one who seeks to better himself in terms of career changes. Unfortunately, the business world seems to dictate the latter part of that bullshit.

But for the past several years at the jobs I’ve held for that matter, I’ve always dressed up as “something” or “somebody” other than my own usual self. This year however, has been different, as I’ve been jet-setted toward a different direction.

Every year about a month before Halloween actually occurs, I always get asked the same question; “What are you dressing up as?” In the past I’ve always said, “I don’t know,” because frankly I never knew what I wanted to be.

For years I dressed up as a cow with interchangeable parts, such as hair, horns and face changes. A few years ago I dressed up as a woman and last year, I dressed up as a dying soldier from the on-going terrorist war that our wonderful (sic) president loves to talk about and promote with a happy gleeful face so much.

I called myself “G.I. Joe Stein,” and found things around my apartment, as well as going out to buy make-up from a local store and proceeded from there. I think for the little extras, including make-up I spent close to $9.57.

These days it’s a little hard to compete with folks who go out and buy store-bought costumes verses costumes you make up on your own with your own materials. It’s a little like Christmas, but that’s for another time.

For my G.I. Joe Stein outfit, I wore a white tee shirt, a green army shirt too short for my body then, a pair of rice patty pants, an old military police helmet, a gas mask wrapped around my neck, plus I used an old warped crutch to lean on, a bent bugle for show and effect, besides the make-up and fake blood I used on various parts of my face.

I competed against a woman who dressed herself up quite nicely as a Zombie, very detail-oriented and another who was “Thing” from The Addams Family television series, a rather creative costume. And then of course, there were some average basic costumes too.
But the judging wasn’t exactly fair. Second place went to a tall young woman who wore a flannel shirt and a straw cowboy hat and was of course, cute. Beauty over brains always wins hands down at the workplace.

Then the person dressed as the Zombie of course had several friends, as well as being part of the management team, so clout and friends always go hand in hand, don’t they? All of her friends all shouted out that she (the Zombie) was the best-dressed, so of course the judges were leaning toward her, when all of a sudden I blurted out “I can play Taps on this bugle.” I played a bad version of “Taps” on it, knowing full well it wasn’t the actual tune, but it got the attention of another judge and sure enough, I took home first prize!

The woman who dressed herself up as “Thing” walked away with the grand prize, which only goes to show that having friends who scream their lungs out for you doesn’t always work.

So back to the matter at hand; the last several weeks I haven’t been feeling like dressing up at all, nope my life has taken a different direction entirely and it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable that I have to dress up just to please someone else.

But why do I have to? Why don’t those who ask me even bother to dress up? Because they are terrified or frightened of what someone might say back to them. That is a true ramification. Or perhaps it’s something more like a closeted fear of how they might never live it down after weeks of being in a costume.

I thought for certain I was going to cave in today to pressure by my peers and don my Halloween outfit, but at the last minute, I stuck to my guns and decided against it and boy did it feel good for a change!

Nevertheless, several people still wandered by my desk and asked me what I was going as and even later after the 30-second costume contest strut-fest was over and the various movie gift card prizes were handed out, several people in the lunchroom confronted me and dared to ask me why I didn’t dress up.

As I found out later, the judge was willing to hold up the contest back for a few minutes to wait for me, which goes to show, that even without clout, I still have the power. As I always say, expect the unexpected. You'll sleep so much more peacefully at night!