My journal of life and those lives that surround & influence me, both positively & negatively

Tuesday, December 8

Where Do I Fit In The Plan: Here Comes Christmas Once Again!

It’s beginning to look a lot like the holiday I don’t like at all has begun its slithery path and making attempts to hit me like a ton of bricks. But this year, I think I have the edge on it; this year, I believe I have it beat. This year I have a lot to be happy for and Christmas is not one of them.

But am I supposed to respect a holiday that a majority of Americans and the rest of the universe go ape-shit for? Some sides will tell me yes and some sides will tell me no and some sides will want to wrangle me into their personal vendettas as to why I should respect a holiday that those who celebrate it, worship it like a false idol.

False idolatry; well, well, well. It’s not the first time I’ve run across this before and it sure won’t be the last time. It wasn’t even that long ago in mid-September when I saw the first circulars come with the daily newspapers and in the weekly mail, advertising crap for Christmas. 

Now tell me, why am I supposed to respect Christmas? Oh I remember; it’s a holiday for the children, always the children. That has got to be one of the biggest lines of crap ever! For the children! My ass it’s for children. 

All Christmas is for is to make some corporate giant like Wal-Mart or Sears feel fat and happy and wallow in their shoddiness of a product manufactured & outsourced to China, India, Malaysia, Mexico or some other foreign country that has taken American jobs away for life?

You want my respect and hundreds of others like mine? Then give those Americans their jobs back! Give them back their self-worth! Give them back their dignity! Give them back their souls! Most importantly give them back what they’ve lost and that is hope.

Now, if you’re thinking that I’d be blaming this one on President Obama, you’ve got to be kidding! He didn’t get us into this mess to begin with. Yes, I know he promised in his campaign speeches to champion new hope and new inroads and all other happiness, and sure it’s not fast enough for some people’s taste that’s not what I’m talking about.

In the last position I held before the big collapse, I talked to hundreds of men and women, who personally vented their frustrations to me and I heard the same words over and over and over; where is the humanity in it all? Where do we fit into the plan? How am I going to survive?

Some were angrier than that; some blamed current their own state governments, their own local markets and some even blamed me for bringing it up with them, even as it was my job to collect this data for ongoing habitual nonsense.

And then, after the screaming was over, the venting and frustration was over and done with, they apologized to me; said they were sorry and didn’t mean to attack me. I accepted their diatribes and just filed them away for remembrance sake later.

And here they are; and as I write this now, I remember what many have said; what am I going to do with my life? It’s in ruins. I’m going to kill myself.

And sadly, that’s what some owners & workers have done, killed themselves. Those that have survived their own personal hells have also looked for new jobs and have given up looking because the market is so brutal. 

Some rob banks. Some steal from the corporations that made them miserable. Some have relatives that have an “in” to the next possibility. Some sleep their lives away and become mentally unstable, unable to handle the pressure of no viable means of income.

And some people like me write poetry and essays like this, spilling our insides out on clean white electronic documents like these, that we hope someone else will read and realize that we don’t sit around all day and cry because we have dignity too.

So it’s all for the children, huh?

Merry Fucking Christmas my ass!