The President of the United States is helping his country straight down the path of righteousness. Yeah right! Straight to hell, rather. I’m not the only person that once sat on the sidelines in the scattered bunches of minorities who have raised their voices loudly, screaming “See? Told you so!” Now, the minorities have grown to thousands, all screaming the same thing, basically for the fascism to stop and let the healing to begin.And how do you heal? By forgiving, but that doesn’t always work for everybody, myself included. Lately, I’ve been the punching bag for a plethora of idiots who seem to want to blame me for their own sorry lives and their own mess of problems. And it affects me everywhere I go; home, school, work and playtime too.
Sometimes it takes a great incident to get a tiny spark to fly, setting ablaze a bonfire of protest or action to be taken before any results come forth with a solution to a bad situation.
But it’s the very kind of depressive state of being that others try to keep you down with by disassociating with the very idealisms you stand for, by ignoring, banging the telephone down on your ear, slamming the door in your face, name-calling, telling you that you smell bad, that you’re no good and that you’re not like the other good little girls and boys who are trying to step on you in the economical rat race as well and get ahead.
I go through this cycle after a seemingly endless streak of happiness and when the bleak blank blackness of reality washes over me like a bad drink I had in New York City nearly three weeks ago, but I piss it out of my system virtually overnight and then it’s gone, for the moment. I don’t let the negatives get to me; not that much anyway and I salvage what I can of the negatives and recycle them into positives!
A few weeks ago, I received a free local magazine from a female friend with its theme revolving around forgiveness. I put it aside and chuckled to myself and then phoned her up and asked, “Is this a hint or something?”
She mumbled something to the effect that I should forgive someone else for crap that the significant other shat on me some months ago. I shot back, “My life is scot-free of additional bitterness and anger and I should be forgiving? I don’t think so!”
She hung up on me.
Success is an enemy to the losers of the day. When the enemy admits they were wrong to begin with, then maybe I’ll think about being forgiving, but I won’t be waiting for a “sorry” anytime soon. Drama is always distorted to what one wants to hear. It’s always different in the enemy’s eyes. They’re the ones filled with eyes of hate, hearts of jealousies, while committing acts well beyond the sanity boundaries just because they’ve had a bad week and they expect me to be forgiving them?
Let them say sorry first and mean it with compassion.
In the meantime, I look forward to the future. Good stuff is headed my way and no massive flood or blinding blizzard of negativity will hold me back from achieving what journey I’m about to embark upon.
Critics cry on their own blogs with self-inflicted wounds of disdainment and unforgiving words. It is after all part of their fatal cycle that they cannot break.
And for this I smile with a putrid sadness in my eyes.
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