Sex Parts: Small Ass>Act OneIn my travels throughout the modern free world as a writer & blogger, I have encountered many lurid tales of love, in varied detailed accounts through films, books and the human experience. Yet, I have never told any of them publicly. So today, I will launch into the few, the proud and the sexy. Be prepared to laugh, I know I did when I heard these stories, viewed them or experienced them.
Let us begin with tales up the tuchas. My good friend Erin works as an x-ray technician in the hills of La-La Land. One day when we were talking, he had commented on one of my numerous stories, describing it as, “Kind of dark, sad and funny at the same time.” Then he says to me, “Want to hear something really sad?”
And I say, “Why certainly, Erin.”
“I had to go up to surgery a few days ago to take an image on some poor old fellow’s stomach.”
Erin explains to me that this man, 60 years young, had been messing around with his partner and somehow or another, he managed to get a mannequin’s forearm caught up his ass. As I am laughing uncontrollably, Erin says tears rolled down his cheeks because, he too was laughing so hard. Then I asked Erin, if surgery was a success and without missing a beat, he says, “Oh, the trouble we had trying to extracting that thing, we couldn’t pull it out of him, so we had to try to get it out from his front end,” Erin says laughing. “The poor man almost got saddled with a colostomy bag because of what happened to him.”
Just as frightening, Erin also relays two other stories where a young man was hauled into the emergency room, who was screaming in pure pain and was x-rayed, only to find out that this man had a pair of tongs inserted up his ass. That guy was immediately brought into surgery. And another time, an elderly man had apparently shoved a vibrator up his ass and it was still vibrating as they wheeled him off to surgery, as they were unable to pull it out.
Therefore, I ask Erin, “Why is it only happening to men. Why not women?”
Erin responds, “Well shoot, must be that women know how to handle the hardware a bit better than guys, you know? I have virtually seen it all; people will come into the hospital with soda bottles, vacuum hoses and instruments, instruments, attached to their penises. It is honestly has to be the craziest thing that I have ever seen in my life, man. I guess Playboy doesn’t work like it used to,” he says with a puzzled look on his face.
I guess not either.
