Down below the Copenhagen airport, I found my way to the nearest train station. As I waited, I noticed how different everything looked. Pretty obvious being in a different country I suppose. But I also noticed how empty the train station was too. A little too empty, I felt. So I asked someone, who in turn, informed me that the reason very few trains were going by, is because someone less than an hour before I arrived decided to jump in front of a train and kill himself! Only recently, had I listened to a segment of the American TV program 60 Minutes, in which they reported that Denmark was the best place in the world to live in, because despite the world’s problems, that their disposition remained happy and content. This was not the case, I gathered, as I dragged my airport cart w/my bags across the railroad platform and waited for another train to board.
If you’ve never traveled in Europe, let alone Denmark, their trains are much like America’s Amtrak trains-extremely roomy, fast, but with a bit of an old world style-perhaps similar to old Pullman trains from America’s golden years of train traveling, in that, usually during late afternoon or evening, a man would come through every train car with a service cart, selling a variety of Danish foods, candies, newspapers and magazines.
We got as far as Korsor, when an announcement came over the loudspeaker that the train was stopping, due to mechanical failure. Mechanical failure, I thought. The train was working just fine! Someone, whom I asked, explained to me that since Denmark is surrounded by water that if the train had actually broken down within the tunnels that it would take several hours to fix. Upon learning this, I tried my phone to make a call, but it didn’t work and I slightly panicked until I asked a stranger if I could borrow hers. Once I had her phone, I called Pedro to tell him I was going to be approximately 3 hours late. It was already nearly 4pm. He said not to worry and they would be there waiting to collect me when I arrived in Aarhus.
I could tell, however, that I was getting closer to understanding the make-up of Aarhus, just by observing the people on the train; like the three assertive artsy bikers who kept teasing the conductor about driving the train themselves, to which the conductor handed one of them the key and said in Danish, something like, “Okay, fint du er sådan en guide, du kører toget, og se hvad der sker!” Even though I didn’t understand the language so well, I understood the joking gestures, which is what Danes seem to have inserted within the stream of their language. It was a quality I admired.
So we waited and waited and waited for about another hour until a replacement train came in and boarded that one. Quite an adventure I thought thus far. Then as I boarded the train and found a place to sit down, I struck up a conversation w/a guy who actually knew who the Clean Boys were, a guy, in a leisure suit, with a button-down collar. He pointed out all the important architecture as the train sped along toward Aarhus.
And then the strangest thing happened. We pulled into a station named Middelfart! That cracked me up! Made me lose what little composure I had left. Middelfart! That city name made my trip at that point memorable! Then we passed by Horsens (where our record producer, Frede Nielsen) lived. It’s where the Danish state penitentiary formerly had been housed. As I continued to converse with the guy, the time seemed to go faster, as I drank in all the beauty that surrounded us.
At long last we were pulling into Aarhus, it was close to 7 pm and I began looking for Mulle and Pedro outside the train’s window. As the train slowed down, I saw them! I began to yell and scream for joy, which caused a few people to look at me strangely. When the train stopped, I grabbed my bags, dragged them down the steps and called out to them! And there they were! I was so excited and thrilled to meet them in person! We hugged each other and then Pedro & Mulle both told me in so many words that Morks would be picking us up within the hour and we’d be going down to the studio to rehearse.
I was weary, because I really hadn’t thought about doing that since I was so dead tired and dragging on my feet. After putting a bit of food in my stomach, Morks picked us up in his car and off we sped to Hi-Fi Cairo (Clean Boys’ rehearsal space). From there, we did a full take of Bite It You Scum, a GG Allin cover tune and even though I was terribly tired from lack of sleep and severe jetlag, I managed to belt out perhaps one of my coolest and weirdest versions of the song yet! Stumbling over words, I ended up creating a braggart phrase (though not intentionally) that would follow me wherever we went on tour (who the fuck do you think you are/just a Danish superstar) while in Denmark.
“Let’s call it a night,” Pedro remarked after the session.
I couldn’t agree more!
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