Of Rubber Chickens, Glass Houses & Ku Klux Flintstone Wannabes

“We are the Goons Of Hazard/Glorified on your TV/We leave you in a pool of blood/’Cos we know we’ll get off scot-free”-(Goons Of Hazard) Dead Kennedys

“Have you seen that vigilante man? Have you seen that vigilante man? I seen his name all over the land”-(Vigilante Man) Woody Guthrie

Have you noticed lately how people are becoming more paranoid about their surroundings, cannot deal with their insecurities alone & need two or more people to face the world & change it according to their laws, even if it’s not really their laws to begin with?

The age of the vigilante has come around once again. Although this time, thanks in part to the supposed terrorist bombing on September 11, 2001 and sweeping changes within the world itself, the vigilantes dress alike. Some wear three piece suits with matching white shirts & ties, carrying briefcases & laptops. Some wear hipster clothing. Some wear revealing outfits, accented to highlight certain parts of their anatomy. It’s everywhere you thrive.

These self-imposed young upstarts or old farts (as the case may be) are programmed to behave like smoking guns or robots more so the latter, rather than the former. Yet, when no one is looking, they will slip in a few of their own rules & make them law. Some of these self-appointed vigilantes believe they are extremely clever, pretending to blend in within the crowd, but in reality are seeking to silence the creative minds.

This is nothing new, as the vigilante groups of old sought out the strangers & misfits who didn’t fit in well with the “in” crowd, in particular “their” crowd & often threatened, harassed, bullied & intimidated them. Sometimes they killed them.

Vigilantes travel in packs, usually three or more people & gang up on one individual they know they cannot lick on their own. Kind of like the Three Bears when Papa Bear spoke for Mama Bear & Baby Bear. It’s like the other two cannot make real decisions on their own, so they must consult with the Great Wizard Of Odds just to make it right. It’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?

Maybe. Maybe they believe they are onto something & what do they do to try and ensnare the creative minds and the misfits? They put down plants, in a sort of “Dukes Of Hazard-style,” you know, two guys, with the chick in the middle, just a-batting her eyelashes and pretending to be naïve thinking that will work, but just toasts them in the long run.

Or maybe they just try to blend into the community, you know, pretending to be truly interested in a person’s welfare & well-being, when all they really care about is destroying a person’s ego. Cops, CIA & FBI agents are fine examples of this type of behavior. So are former reporter wannabes. You’d think by now they’d get a clue as to what actions they are emitting, but I guess not.

Being phony only lasts for so long until the mask unfurls and falls to the floor and reveals the truth of the matter unveils the evil vigilante! And the best part of it is you can see the phoniness curling between their teeth, as they spit out their words & sentences slowly and clearly like a trained commando or a hypnotized subject in a private trance session. They need each other for certain.

So hey! What do you say to another few more rounds of nipple-sucking for those vigilantes, for fear of going out on their own and leading their own productive lives as opposed to smashing the creativity that grows all around them? God-forbid they should work for positive causes & instead feed upon the trash-heaps of negativity. Evidently, fruitarian is not a part of their daily diets.