While surfing on the Internet a couple of nights ago, I happened to pop into one of the two regular Jewish chat-rooms I frequent. As I settled into the midst of conversation, one chatter, presumably male, typed out the following sentence; “spiritual speaking, I would like to the feelings of a woman.”
So, I typed back his exact sentence and added, “Hmmm. How interesting,” emitting about half a dozen LOLs (Laughing Out Loud) all in caps. I laughed to myself, as I too have explored this issue, only from another angle, that of taking on the personality role of a female chatter.
In the past, I have received eyefuls, earfuls & mouthfuls of information from fellow female chatter friends who have told that chatting online with aggressive males at times can be like dealing with a vicious dog that continues to bite back even inside the muzzle.
Over exerted male aggression in the form of constant badgering and name-calling continues, unfortunately in chat-rooms is quite common these days, even as the female chatter politely declines their offers or tells the male chatter they are already spoken for.
So, donning the unsuspecting cloak of female chatter, complete with female icon, in I slipped into the chat-room, playing the role. Sure enough, not more than five seconds into the room exchanging chat-room hellos to all inside, I get pm’d (private messaged) by five male chatters, all demanding to know my ASL (age, sex, location) right away.
To each male, I type back quickly the following sentence; “Whoa! Wait a sec! How about a conversation first?” Three out of the five of them immediately type back; “Okay, what’s your name?” The other two haven’t responded…yet. I type back to the other three; “Look, I mean conversation first, without the ASL first, okay?” Two of them drop out and send me a quick “bye” message & disappear. The other two males still haven’t responded, I suspect they are working the room.
Finally, the one left from the original group of three types back; “What do U want 2 no?” I think to myself, uh-oh, someone who can’t spell. “Well,” I type, “Tell me about yourself.” He types back; “What do U want 2 no,” again.
This exchange seems to go on forever, but eventually, he begins to tell me a little about himself. He’s 25, lives in the city, employed as a teller at a bank, makes a decent salary, has a car, likes all sorts of music, films, sports, and works out daily at the gym to make himself more appealing, all the usual sorts of things that average guys do.
“Now U,” he types back. So I tell him, I’m 27, in scientific research, also a city dweller, I like to read a lot, I like to dance, dining out, go to concerts, the theater, hanging out, cuddling…the list goes on, I tell him.
“Um," he types, “What do you look like?” I type back, “Like a girl, silly!” “Duh!” He types back, “I mean, like what?" So, I give him my fictitous measurements, “34-26-34. I have jet black hair & hazel eyes, shapely legs and small hands, but small enough to…” I trail off.
He types back, “No way! That’s fantastic!” I type “blush” then “smile” in quotations. Then he starts asking me if I live alone & I tell him no, I have three roommates. He asks me if we all have separate rooms or do we share our bedrooms. I am well aware of his question, but play innocent to see where exactly he is going. I say, “Sometimes we share, but most times we sleep separately.”
“Oh,” he types, rather dejectedly. Then he rapidly fires up the questioning a notch. “What do you do when you are lonely? How do you ummm…well, do you touch yourself?” This guy’s a bit whack (weird), but I play along. “Everywhere and every chance I get,” I tease back with the word wink in quotes. “M-m-m-m,” he types back.
“Do you touch yourself?” I type back to him. “Naw,” he replies. “I let the females do that. It’s more fun that way,” he winks in quotes.
“Oh, I see,” I type slowly. In my mind I know where this is leading up to and yes, sure enough he pops the question…"Do you want to meet tonight at 8pm for a drink?" “I’m not sure,” I type back. “What do U mean U’re not sure? I’m a safe guy. I’m not an axe murderer. I won’t harm ya, honest” Look, if you want to call me, here’s my number.”
“Ummm,” I type. “Alrighty then. Look, if you don’t mind I’d just rather type here for tonight. Is that okay with you?”
“No,” he types back angrily. “It’s not okay with me. I want to see you tonight!” “No need for a temper tantrum,” I type. “O-K, I’m sorry,” he types back. “I was just hoping that maybe you and I could…”
“I’m flattered; really I am, but not tonight, okay?” “Then when?" He demands. “When I feel I am ready. One conversation online does a relationship not make,” I add.
“O-K, well see ya around then,” he types and then disappears… as a matter of fact, this is what a lot of my female friends have gone thru over the many years of chat-room experience. A lot of times men will also ask a woman, “What are you wearing?” & “Are you horny?” It’s kind of rude behavior, if you ask me.
Sadly, the ones who are the most aggressive are married men, who constantly cheat on their wives. And they will stop at nothing to find someone to cheat with. Some do say that cybering does not constitute cheating. Maybe. But if that’s so, what does a married man get out of the situation overall, his rocks off? Marriage is a great institution fellows, don’t louse it up. As long as I’m at it, that goes for all you ladies reading this too.
The Internet is a great way to wreak havoc and ruin relationships up for certain.
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