Disclaimer: The only source of knowledge is experience. We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Fiction can be that way sometimes. Any similarities to persons living or dead is purely conincidental & should not be taken or misconstrued as such. Anyone who thinks otherwise, probably believes that the only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
The world as a collective whole does not always function normally; breakdowns are usual in every line of work and in every field of grey, mostly due to the occupational hazards of one situation or another.
This philosophy holds so true, tight & solid on Devil’s Island, where often occupational hazards for prisoners and their handlers go wrong at the handler’s expense, sometimes almost daily and also sometimes, unfortunately at the hand of circumstance; circumstances which sometimes are almost meant to happen in one mighty swing of the golden sacred yo-yo.
But then I’m getting ahead of myself for the moment. Perhaps one of the greatest escapes ever attempted and accomplished here on Devil’s Island was indeed performed by Captain Whackencracker.
Captain Whackencracker was a well-respected individual here on Devil’s Island, yet he had a twist to himself that brought him down at times when it was least expected. He was in essence very, very seedy, very, very dark, but humid in the most wicked and delightful of ways.
Captain Whackencracker’s crime that brought him onto Devil’s Island was the mere factor of behaving like his natural self. Almost anyone who has done time here on Devil’s Island goes through some sort of brainwashing program before they are set up into their new digs.
At first Captain Whackencracker didn’t accept entry into it and rightfully so; crimes without cause or purpose deserve to be examined thoroughly and closely. Upper Prison Brass prefers that no one examines any charge of crime too closely. They prefer that those who come to Devil’s Island accept the sentence they’ve received as such and serve the time without question.
Lately, the electrical power system on Devil’s Island had been in question and little accidents had been occurring at regular intervals when it was least expected. Little occurrences like entire cellblocks not opening and shutting properly; you know little things like that. Upper Prison Brass’ usual response was “We’re looking into the matter,” which the bottom-feeders (the prisoners of Devil’s Island) usually took with a grain of salt.
But then one time it happened; the lights went out during a day when a major prisoner transfer was underway; Devil’s Island went completely black! No one could see anything or anybody for that matter; situations and opportunities began to present themselves rather easily. The strangest occurrence that went down that day, however, was that the Fraternal Goon Twins, Old Black Devil, Makeshift Mark and Upper Prison Brass suddenly disappeared in the blackness! Where were they!
On the other hand, within the first few seconds of the historic Great Blackout on Devil’s Island, The Barnaby Boys & The Tommy-Gun Twosome were below the prison decks trying to find out what went wrong and how the situation could be remedied. In the meantime, the Sorcerer Sisters, accompanied by Groggleman, Josie Peppermint, “Groveling Gary” and “Grandma Gretchen,” split up with heavy-duty flashlights, bullhorns and stun guns to try to quell the crush of chaos that was already flowing like busted dams throughout Devil’s Island.
Broadcast Betty was out of her cell the instant Devil’s Island went dark, gathering data and investigating leads to the chaos that occurred only minutes earlier. About one third of the prisoners stayed inside their cells; they were being smart as they knew of the dangers that lurked about within the darkness.
The OCTOBER Sisters were out in the prison yard, smoking up a black-lunged storm; Va-Va-Voom was busy chilling out with the Mishegas Master; “Travesty Tristan” and “Astute Annie” kept busy and quiet while knitting prisoner knee blankets with homemade corrugated cardboard knitting needles while El Noir and “Grandpa Jones” were playing poker.
But not all things were calm. On the other side of Devil’s Island, those in solitary confinement and the Devil’s Island insane asylum were on the loose; among those temporarily freed were Captain Whackencracker, Knee-Jerk Jack, Danceman Darryl, Roger Dogma and The Pontificating Princess, some of the more notoriously dangerous and insane prisoners locked up on Devil’s Island.
Those five prisoners were locked up for good reason; putting them together meant that Devil’s Island could be turned upside down in no time! And that’s exactly what was happening; Knee-Jerk Jack and Captain Whackencracker were already one-upping each other, while The Pontificating Princess whistled them onto the point of no return.
Then the argument between Knee-Jerk Jack and Captain Whackencracker started; followed by the accompaniment of flying fists and the interlocking of sweaty bodies; the two men were beating the living daylights out of each other and didn’t seem to mind. Blow-by-blow with blood splattering everywhere, the brawl began to draw a large crowd.
Among those in the crowd was Broadcast Betty who mysteriously reappeared again, talking to Danceman Darryl for miniscule details of how and why the fight began. The OCTOBER Sisters had wandered their way through the dark with the help of their orange, yet faint cigarette butts, still smoking like chimneys; their clothes and breath reeked of tobacco.
Still no sign of the Fraternal Goon Twins, Old Black Devil, Makeshift Mark and Upper Prison Brass; perhaps they had been kidnapped or were being held against their will. No one knew of their whereabouts for certain.
Then without warning, Danceman Darryl and Roger Dogma ran behind Knee-Jerk Jack and slugged him a few times with a chair! As Knee-Jerk Jack began falling, The Pontificating Princess grabbed him and held his arms and legs together so that Captain Whackencracker could take a few more quick, powerful swings at him and make the gauntlet march toward freedom! And that’s exactly what Captain Whackencracker did before anyone realized it. Captain Whackencracker disappeared into the darkness and over the wall to freedom!
Later, when the power was restored, The Barnaby Boys, the Tommy-Gun Twosome, The Sorcerer Sisters, Groggleman, Josie Peppermint, “Groveling Gary” and “Grandma Gretchen” all held informal meetings with one another to figure out what to do next an to see if the Fraternal Goon Twins, Old Black Devil, Makeshift Mark and Upper Prison Brass could be located; that is when the real adventure began!
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