Keeping Up With The Joneses-Big Mouth Style

Big mouths have a way of getting cold feet, real fast, real well. It's almost like that great classic story of a fantastic lovemaking session, when either the man or woman has spent a great deal of time and effort of pleasing their partner, only to find out that they themselves are unable to climax! How frustrating is that? Yet it happens, nonetheless and often too, I might add!

Big mouths are fuck-ups in my book.

These are the people who have worked hard in their college careers for the past several years at a fufilling degree, only to decide after all their great efforts and joys in their selected field, decide to abandon their goals & dreams, to take a job mopping floors and scrubbing toilets at their local friendly neighborhood McDonald's restuarants for their rest of their natural lives.

According to a national study done years ago, most big mouths hail from the South (states like Florida, Texas & Kentucky mainly) are largely uneducated, behave like rednecks and believe they are the shit.

Interesting.

Big mouths make huge promises and then turn up later empty-handed. Big mouths make idle threats to do great harm, while only thinking of themselves and their needs, but oh my god! What fucking, selfish assholes they are! It's always them; it's always their needs first!

Big mouths are primadonnas; lousy actors and actresses who will never make it onto the real theatrical stages, small or large silver screens, so they practice their bad method-acting skills on their family and friends with often disasterous results. Their idols are often bad attitude sports figures like former basketball player Dennis Rodman, who played with the Chicago Bulls for a few seasons and current Chicago White Sox team manager Ozzie Guillen, whose mouth is bigger than a black hole in outer space!

They admire egocentric actors like Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwartzenegger (before he became governor of California), Claude Van Damme and others, because they portray the ultimate in big-mouthedness. They listen to talk-radio and watch television and write extremely bad blogs, because they have nowhere else to spit in.

Big mouths have lofty goals and supersized dreams that are often split into two like two eggs cracked over a hot frying pan.

Big mouths always expect to have their way and when they don't, they pout and kick and scream and cry and make idle threats to kill themselves.

Big mouths behave like spoiled children, twist their own words onto others to fit their own agenda and pretend like they don't know what they've done.

Big mouths tell bad and often stupid racist and sexist jokes because they have no pride in their souls.

Big mouths take credit for everything they know they could never acheive in real life.

Big mouths piss in the wind and moan when it flies back directly in their faces.

Big mouths never have fufilling relationships in social circles and wonder why they can't find a suitable match for life. They are often lonely in life, save for their hands, fingers, vibrators and a blow-up doll and without a doubt turn to alcohol, gay porn and overeat.

Big mouths are often depressed and refuse to seek treatment in any way, shape and form, always relying on the old mindset, "Well, there's nothing wrong with me."

Big mouths are ALWAYS right.

Big mouths talk louder than everyone else because they need to hear themselves and they are always looking at themselves in the mirror like goldfish, constantly admiring themselves.

Big mouths hide behind words, computer screens and other falsehoods. They are in essence, their own worst enemy.

Big mouths ALWAYS have the last word.

Oh really? Not in this space!