Have you ever had the chance to meet someone you speak to online? I have, several times over and let me tell you, most people I have met have been mostly wonderful, if not better in person than their personality online.An online personality is totally different than that of meeting someone in the flesh. For that reason alone, I have chosen for many varied reasons to meet some folks in person, while others I have chosen to keep as either phone or online friends/lovers and other assorted extras.
The first example I can easily say whose personality didn’t exactly fit with her own reality was Worrisome Wendy. Online, she was as lively as a jitterbug at a Charleston contest, but in person, she was shy and reserved and used excuse after excuse to explain her shortcomings and misgivings.
She heavily relied on others, primarily her parents when times were rough and took advantage of a guy who she really didn’t like and used him for her own personal gain.
I met her a few years ago in a Jewish chat room and we agreed to meet for coffee, but she always backed off at the last minute, primarily if for no other reason, she wasn’t exactly altogether on the level. Suffice to say, we didn’t last that long.
Similarly, I have met others online in that same chat room, then spoke to them on the phone and eventually met them in person. One in particular, Iketayzac was pretty fun to hang out with and helpful in many other ways in terms of understanding my own Judaism, but the ones who have made an impact on my own life, have been women, beginning with (1) Turtleneck.
Turtleneck helped me out in during a time of major crisis in my life; she single-handedly coordinated an effort to find people to help me survive a near homeless situation back in September, 2001, gave me emotional (and a little financial) support all within a matter of one week before I was scheduled to go live out on the street.
Turtleneck has always been a good friend of support for me, even if her schedule is tied up or so busy, but she makes time for me, as I make time for her when I can. She has a family life now, which is far more rewarding than one could ever know. This amazing woman managed to do all of this for me, while seated at her computer on the East Coast of the United States.
(2). Iris. I met Iris totally by accident one day back in June, 2000. Iris mistook me for someone else and we’ve remained a bit more than just standard friends since. Iris and I met in the north of London back in 2000 and although things didn’t exactly work out the way I wanted them to, we’ve still remained in touch all these years and were able to work out our differences through trial and error.
The best part of being friends with Iris is that we have been able to laugh at ourselves and others who have tried to pick us apart from time to time. There seems to be a lot of that going around these days and darn it if someone thinks they are a little better than someone else. Iris is someone I am extremely grateful to have alongside of me for the duration of the ride.
(3) Jade Spotted Owl. We also met ironically enough in the same chat room and just spoke online to each other, eventually branching off into the an individualized instant messaging system.
We’ve spoken to each other online for nearly three years and this past week I finally met her between transfers of buses she was catching in Chicago to go out East. We were supposed to hang out for half an hour, but as usual, Greyhound was late and we spent less than 10 minutes talking, mostly while she was waiting in line to catch the next bus.
Jade is like the sister I formally had; helpful, kind and usually keeps me grounded and is also a good sounding board. She keeps me in balance and is able to take my cheekiness and sarcasm even if it’s not meant for her.
Then there are others such as Gitele, Aries, Gemini, Balding Eagle, Zisapunium and Saratoga, plus a whole slew of others, who will never understand the meaning of friendship; that friendship means to respect your boundaries even if it means you can only talk to them online or on the telephone and no other location and if there is no further point in fruition, why bother?
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