Being a music student in my adult years, as opposed to my formal education while in high school and college, you tend to learn a few things along the way, what to do and what not to do. I learned a lesson the hard way while taking classes at a local music school.
I had just finished a long and fruitful two years with a particular vocals teacher whom I was quite fond of and suddenly, when I learned she was leaving, I had to hunt for a replacement teacher who I thought would be comparable; little did I know what I was getting myself into when I discovered Tequila Moonshine.
Tequila’s profile on the school’s website seemed like she was fun, open-minded very creative and experienced with music; it sounds like a personal ad on Yahoo! doesn’t it?
It’s always difficult to replace a teacher that you love and admire so much with someone less than what you realize might be up to par from before.
The first day, we got off on the wrong foot; got signals mixed, but eventually we fixed it up right. I was more interested in putting my poetry to music created for more at that point and though now I know how wrong that was to take advantage of a teacher’s abilities like Tequila, I didn’t see that so clearly during our time together.
What was supposed to be a good learning experience began feeling wrong. Tequila roughed me up mentally, resulting in many crying spells, coupled with frustration because I didn’t understand how a teacher could be so mean and difficult when it came to teaching.
I eventually told Tequila and she fixed the situation, but it only worked for a little while. We had our moments, both normal and intense and my guess that Tequila wasn’t used to someone like me. Tequila did say later that she never knew what it was going to be like with me from week to week.
Lord only knows I tried making the situation work and Lord only knows Tequila made an effort at first too, I can’t say I could blame her for anything at first, but it did come back to haunt both her and I in a most extraordinary and cruel way.
Tequila’s behavior from normality seemed to shrink as she slowly began to build an invisible fence between us. She distanced herself from me, even as I tried to invite her to shows of mine; right away, Tequila had an excuse for everything; it all seemed so strange to me at that point, but slowly I began to see the pattern.
Tequila even went as far as making outrageous claims that her boyfriend (if
she even had one at that time) was an ex-FBI agent and she made me promise that
I wouldn’t repeat back other things to anyone else that he supposedly told her
things like that there was some secret plan to attack Chicago with a nuclear
bomb, around the time of 911.
Tequila constantly remarked that I enjoyed self-deprecation, but I always wondered what she was up to when she was behaving like a pathological liar trying to psyche me out.
Tequila made more outrageous claims and I became more skeptical of her. Tequila wanted out and I wanted to make it work by sticking it out.
When I finally gave in to Tequila’s mad behavior and started a search for another teacher, it turned out the teacher I picked just happened to know Tequila and of course they probably spoke at length about me. Lo & behold and quite predictably, the prospective teacher told me she didn’t have time in her schedule for me.
When I saw Tequila the following week, she demanded to know why I hadn’t told her I was looking for another teacher and I just thought that she was being a little over-reactionary in the sense that I owed it to tell her I was. I only wish I could have told Tequila that I felt like I was in high school again and I felt backstabbed.
When the music school's program director confronted me one day in the hall, she told me what Tequila Moonshine had said and I remarked, “Oh! You don’t know the half of it,” as I explained to her everything that Tequila didn’t bother to tell the program director. Suffice to say, I picked a different direction, which I’m much happier with now.
There are days when I find old lesson tapes that I recorded with Tequila Moonshine and listen to them and sometimes in the middle I have to stop and put on something else for they are far too painful to hear.
I see Tequila Moonshine’s name in local music listings from time to time and I often wonder what would happen if I decided to show up one day to one of her shows? Would she freak and have someone throw me out of the joint? I haven’t bothered to answer that question as of yet.
And perhaps I never
will. Pain is a lingering pill, taking its sweet time to
dissolve.
