Old Melting-PotFolklore>Who's That Guy With Morris?

My dear readers, I don't often post jokes, but this one I came across in an old treasury of "melting-pot" folklore and I'd like to share it with you all. I've updated it for the 21st century, so some of you will appreciate the sense of value it still holds after 50 years or so...Who's That Guy With Morris?

Abe and Morris are talking to one another when Morris begins to tell Abe about all of his friends, among them the Mayor of Chicago, Richard Daley. Morris says, "Hey Abe, I just had lunch with him and his wife last week" Abe turns to Morris and says, "No way! You are lying." Morris says, "Look I’ll prove it to you that I know the mayor, let me call him." so sure enough, Morris whips out his cellphone & gets the mayor on the line almost immediately. "Hi Richie (Mayor Daley), how are you? Yes I had a great time with you and Maggie last week, yes, the salad was kind of bad I agree, but Richie, the reason I called was to tell you that my friend Abe doesn't believe that I know you." So Morris hands Abe the phone and sure enough Mayor Daley says hi to Abe and they speak for a bit, then Abe hands back the phone to Morris and hangs up with Mayor Daley. Abe says, "Well, that's all fine and well that you know the mayor, but I bet you don't know the President (Bush)." Morris turns to Abe and says,” as a matter fact I do, him and I were inside the limo together that took us to the stock exchange." Abe says, "Now, I know you're really lying, there is no possible way..." Morris cuts Abe off and says, "Hey Abe, don't believe me? Look, I’ll prove it to you." So again, Morris whips out his cellphone and in a matter of seconds, he has George Bush on the phone and speaks with him. "Hi Georgie. Yes, I agree I had a great time with you here this past week, yes I know how bad traffic was, but that's Chicago for you. Look, Georgie, my friend Abe doesn't believe that I know you at all, so I was wondering if I put Abe on the phone, could you say hi to him?" So, Morris hands the phone to Abe and sure enough, President Bush says hi to Abe. Abe is beside himself as they speak then hands the phone back to Morris who says goodbye to the president and hangs up." Look Morris, I now believe you. You know the mayor, you even know President Bush, but I bet you don't know Pope Benedict! And Morris turns to Abe and says, "Hey, are you kidding? I was over to his place a month ago, talking church politics with him." And Abe says, "No, this time you are lying, I don't believe you. I think you are pulling a fast one. So Morris says, "Fine, don't believe me? Here’s what I propose: let's both you and I fly to Rome and book us a hotel. On Wednesday, when Pope Benedict comes out on the balcony, I’ll be with him. if I’m not, then I’ll pay for the entire trip, if not and I am there then you have to pay for my difference. Fair deal?" Abe says "sure" thinking to himself that he's won the bet hands-down. So Abe & Morris book a flight to Rome get settled into the hotel and tour around a bit. Shortly before 10, Morris bids Abe goodbye and tells him he'll see him on the balcony with the pope. Abe says to himself, "Yeah, right" and then waves goodbye. At noontime, Abe arrives at the Pope's palace and looks up to the balcony; sure enough, out walks the Pope arm-in-arm with Morris chatting it up. Abe is flabbergasted to see the both of them, just speechless. in the meantime, a little Italian child in broken English casually walks up to Abe and tugs on Abe’s pant leg and asks him innocently, "hey Mister! Who’s that guy with Morris???"