Disclaimer: Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on earth. Fiction can be that way sometimes. Any similarities to persons living or dead are purely coincidental & should not be taken or misconstrued as such. Anyone who thinks otherwise probably believes that to listening into other people’s conversations whether by ear or by recording devices without asking if they can do so, is a lot like spreading loshon hora within your own group of friends.There is no such thing as a parole board on Devil’s Island, but when there is a possibility of a prisoner exchange, a prisoner being granted freedom or a prisoner being executed, a most exclusive executive board led by the likes of The Most Holy Father, Upper Prison Brass, Josie Peppermint & The Sorcerer Sisters who have emerged as the leading candidates and rumored to replace the fabled and yet still missing in actual, The Fraternal Goon Twins.
It is these members of the board who decides who stays and who goes, either free without bonds or leaves with a history as long as the sky. Closer to home in terms of prison cell approximation, two inmates here on Devil’s Island have been going through the meat grinder for several days, if not weeks and months, meaning mostly being scrutinized and studied, as if plans to execute them most Holy Father-style was on the agenda in the not-so-distant future.
The Amazing Zander, one of the first two prime targets on the hit list, came to
The Amazing Zander brought with him a bag of tricks and among other things sawed The Most Holy Father in half, which explains the split personality factor, dismissed the ghost of Old Black Devil indefinitely and made Johnny Vegas bark like a dog, flap his arms like a chicken, laugh like a hyena and confess all of his sins (as they pertained to Devil’s Island) like a pubescent school girl caught peeping in a boy’s locker-room for the very first time.
The Amazing Zander was then offered a permanent place on the inactive parole board, so when push came to shove, The Amazing Zander could be blamed far more easily than any other members of the board for performing black magic on innocent prisoners. After 18 months of being blamed for executions that he didn’t solely commit, The Amazing Zander blew the whistle on the board, but not before other prisoners heard his story. The inactive parole board immediately expelled The Amazing Zander from the board and placed into solitary confinement for three months. After that brief exclusion, The Amazing Zander was placed back into the prison population, and into the prison cell with Laughing Larry Lunatic, who no one ever messed with, when it came down to the precise moment.
Orders came from the top and trickled down through the prisoner guards long ago, to leave Laughing Larry Lunatic alone…for as long as he lived within the walls of
Laughing Larry Lunatic was unpredictable, a menace to virtually anyone who upset him, whether it was the toughest prisoner all the way to the Upper Prison Brass.
In the old days when Old Black Devil reigned supreme, Laughing Larry Lunatic snipped her to pieces time and time again, even after she had been warned, but alas Old Black Devil never listened to anyone except herself, so she got exactly what she deserved.
Laughing Larry Lunatic landed at
Happy Merry Larry prior to being dubbed "Laughing Larry Lunatic," only known crime against humanity that brought him to Friendly Island was just for being his original self, friendly, open and honest, but as time went on, he got taken advantage of by many, so much so, that one day Happy Merry Larry's mind snapped like a twig, went overboard and became Laughing Larry Lunatic instantly.
He was taken down almost immediately to the fabled prison insane asylum, former home to the likes of The Pontificating Princess and Danceman Darryl. Laughing Larry Lunatic spent approximately 36 months inside the asylum, until he was deemed safe and fit to be placed back into the prison population once more.
But the tide has turned black and against The Amazing Zander and Laughing Larry Lunatic. Both have been verbally attacked, bullied, threatened and intimidated by Upper Prison Brass, The Most Holy Father, Josie Peppermint and Roving Robot Robin, who takes matters into her own hands and stretches the truth just a little too far for her own personal gain.
“Something must be done about Roving Robot Robin and immediately,” Skeleton Key Carlita was heard to blurt aloud one day. Of course, Skeleton Key Carlita was sent into solitary confinement for that remark, for as everyone knows, Roving Robot Robin does not appreciate humor, however it is expressed.
Late one afternoon when no one noticed, The Amazing Zander and Laughing Larry Lunatic “borrowed” a set of keys from Skeleton Key Carlita and escaped from the madness within.
To this day, no one knows where the pair disappeared to, if they even survived their escape or even if perhaps they are hiding somewhere within the landscape of Devil’s Island and waiting for the right moment to perhaps reappear and give back the gifts of which each man received when their respective time on Devil’s Island got rough.
One never knows their fate on
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